Losing my Honee

Tuesday 7June2005, 9:33 PM. The message: " Am inviting u s ako weding ds sat.@4pm s INC church. Rcption at leyte park hotel..thnx. u ".

We've been talking about it over the phone for quite some time but I didnt take it seriously. Im trying to think she's just kidding, and one day she will say it was all a joke. The truth is I was afraid. Afraid of losing her. For so many years I thought this will not happen. But it will happen soon.. and there's nothing I can do about it. The only thing I have in mind now is to see her before she get tied. The semester is just about to start and I have so many things to do for the coming days and weeks. But Im willing to leave them all behind, it seems like the most important thing for me to do now is to see her... for the last time.

... Fourteen years ago, I adored her so much. She's two years older than me, but because I began attending school ahead of my age, she's one grade ahead of me.We were then a member of our school Drum and Bugle Corps. I have a superior skill as a drummer, and she was a graceful dancer. I met her during one of the practice period of the band. The first time I saw her, I thought she was an angel ...

I have made a promise that I will be at her wedding no matter what and I will be there before the wedding starts. I began surfing the net looking for inter-island vessel schedules. I got all what I need and if everything goes fine with my carefully planned itinerary, I will arrive at the wedding 4 hours early.

June 10. It's the day I’ll start my journey to what seems to be a worthless trip that I'm willing to expend. I was supposed to buy boat ticket for Cebu at 3 PM but I'm scheduled to chat with a friend at 1 PM. My friend showed up at 3 PM and our chat session went on for an hour and a half. I was supposed to get tickets at 4 PM, be at the bus terminal at 5 PM, I should arrive at Cagayan port at around 7 PM coz the boat for Cebu will leave at 8 PM. Phew.. I went to the city proper at almost 4:30 PM, bought some freakin Cheding peanuts for 15 minutes, a friend bumped me and locked me in a conversation for another 15 minutes, and finally I went to Cebu Ferries ticket outlet to buy tickets. It's almost 5 PM when I reached the ticket outlet, and to my horror, it's already closed! The guard on duty suggested we go to the other outlet just a block away. So I walked a couple of yards but only to found out the other outlet is already closed. Now I’m beginning to get pissed. Again the personnel suggested another outlet which may still be open. This time I had to take a ride coz the other outlet is on the other side of the city. After battling traffic, smoke, and dust, I managed to locate the ticket outlet. When I went inside, there's no one in the ticketing booth. A lady said to wait coz the ticket agent will come back any moment. I’m already pissed but I managed to hold my temper anticipating my ordeal will be over in a few moments. After 15 minutes of freaking waiting, I asked again the nearest lady in the ticketing booth where the hell is the ticket agent. She said the ticket outlet is already closed coz it's already past 5 PM. What the..? I almost kill the bastard! Luckily she suggested another ticket outlet not so far from where I am. It's already 5:30 PM and I thought if I could not get a ticket this time, I should start considering the possibility of abandoning the whole freaking trip. But my luck changed, I was able to get boat tickets at the last moment. My travel plan now is to get to the bus terminal and ride a bus to Cagayan just before 6 PM. It's the best chance for me to catch the 8 PM boat to Cebu. Iligan to Cagayan bus ride ranged from 1 hour 30 minutes to 2 hours travel time. I should pray that the travel time will be less than 2 hours. After some packing and walking, I managed to arrive at the bus terminal and missed the 6 PM bus!! Crap! The next bus will leave in the next 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, my long journey to Tacloban finally started, and for the rest of my trip to Cagayan, I was cursing everything on the road that made our bus slowed down. And even though I don’t believe on superstitions, I was crossing my fingers hoping to catch the 8 PM boat for Cebu. I arrived in Cagayan at 7:45 PM and made a right decision to jump off at the bus stop and flag a taxi all the way to the port. I virtually skipped all the security checks coz the crew wanted me to run as fast as I could if I wanted to catch the boat. Phew.. I managed to board the boat just on time. The boat left the port of Cagayan bound to Cebu just a minute after I boarded. Ako na jud.

... We met again when I got in college. Im surprised she still knows me after almost 4 years. She's one year ahead of me and she's taking up a 3 year course. That would mean we will only see each other for 2 years. We became more close friends and had fun whenever we can ...

June 11. It's her wedding day. I arrived in Cebu at 5:45 AM. The first Supercat fastcraft (sea vessel that travels very fast) bound to Ormoc,Leyte leaves at 6 AM. But due to some freakin delicate docking maneuvers, I managed to jump off the boat at 6:15 AM. Crap! I missed the first fastcraft. My original travel plan is to catch the 8 AM fastcraft from Cebu to Ormoc, Leyte. I should be in Ormoc at 10 AM and ride a van to Tacloban. Travel time from Ormoc to Tacloban is approximately 2 hours so I should arrive in Tacloban at 12 noon. That would give me 4 hours to rest and prepare. My ordeal is not yet over coz there must have been a serious mistake when I took the fastcraft schedules off the internet. There is NO 8 AM fastcraft schedule from Cebu to Ormoc. Instead the next schedule is 10 AM. The 8 AM schedule is from Ormoc to Cebu, not from Cebu to Ormoc. That totally messed everything. To make matters worse, there has been a delay and the fastcraft arrived an hour late from its original schedule. We left Cebu at exactly 11:16 AM. Travel time from Cebu to Ormoc is approximately 2 hours. We arrived in Ormoc at 1:20 PM. I’m starting to get worried coz I still had to travel to Tacloban which is almost 2 hours away! I’m thinking that with this circumstances, I would arrive in Tacloban past 3 PM or worse I'll get there at 4 PM. That would make me freakin late. But still I had my fingers crossed, Im still hoping to reach Tacloban before the wedding starts. When I finally got out of the boat, I was so freaking hungry. I have been in Ormoc once so I’m quite familiar with the landscape. I remember there is a Jollibee store just a block from the port so I wasted no time, I walked but I realized it's 2 blocks away. I’m beginning to worry coz I’m wasting my time walking and I quickly realized there are so many passengers and there are only limited vans. I may not be able to get a van to take me to Tacloban! But I don’t want to starve to death on the way, it's still 2 hours away and I don’t have my lunch yet. Crap! When I reached Jollibee, I still had to wait in line before I can make my order. After few agonizing moments my burgers arrived, and I wanted to piss really bad. I was cursing myself in the toilet as I pissed. I was in the middle of the city I hardly known and I’m in a hurry, I don’t care what the people may think but I think they all think I’m crazy for what I did... I ran as fast as I could back to the port to catch a van. I’m surprised I wasn’t arrested for doing so, they may think I’m a burglar or something. Luckily there is ONE last mini bus bound to Tacloban and I wasted no time jumping in. We left Ormoc at 1:40 PM. I’m surprised my nightmare in Ormoc only lasted 20 minutes; I thought I was there for 1 hour! But my ordeal is not over yet, if the travel time is 2 hours, I will arrive in Tacloban at 3:40 PM! No time to change clothes and definitely no time to clean myself from sweat, dust, and dirt. Throughout the trip I was in constant contact with a friend in Tacloban who is also attending the wedding, we supposedly share a room in a pension house. He's also directing me what to do and where to go. Again for no reason, I kept on crossing my fingers hoping to reach Tacloban before 4 PM.

... She graduated two years before mine. After her graduation we met once when she applied for her Official Transcript of Records and Diploma. After all the years, I looked at her as the same girl I adored back when I was a kid. Time has changed, but the way I adored her has never. After my graduation, I immediately began working. One time I was invited to give a lecture in a National Physics Conference in Catbalogan, Samar. After the conference, I stayed in Ormoc for one day and we got reunited after almost 3 years ...

I arrived in Tacloban at 3:50 PM. My friend informed me that they are on their way to the church and I should go there directly. I was sweaty and dirty so I decided to proceed to the pension house and had a quick shower. After changing my clothes, I was on my way to the church. I then realized I have no idea where and what to ride to get to the church. I flagged down a tricycle and began negotiating to take me to Iglesia ni Cristo Church in Palo. Palo, Leyte is the next town from Tacloban and is approximately 8 Kms away. I was shouting at the driver coz he doesn’t seems to hear me, I then realized he doesn’t understand what the hell I’m talking about coz he is a Waray. Waray is the local dialect of Tacloban. The driver wants P100 and he will take me to the church. I said whatever dude; just take me to the church as fast as you could. I arrived at the church at 4:15 PM. Just in time, the wedding will start at any moment. I failed to get in the church before 4 PM, but I still fulfilled my promise of getting there no matter what, and getting there just before the wedding starts.

... After 2 years since the last time we see each other, we are again exchanging hi, hello, and smiles. For the past years I’m used to crack a joke every time we see each other, but not today. Though she's still the same girl I adore, today is a bit different.. she was not in her usual shirt and jeans. She looked so beautiful in her white wedding dress, and she's wearing a very happy face. For the past few days I still believed that everything is not real, now I’m standing in front of her and I do not need to ask her if she's kidding or not. All these things are real and my fear of losing her has finally came true. I reached and shake her hand and began sucking it all in. That moment I was again reunited to her and assured my self that we were still friends and we can still rule the skies, do anything, and be happy all that we can be. But after a short moment, slowly our hands drifted apart, until the last moment I wanted to stop the time and reverse everything, but time will never go back. Finally our hands were separated and it all sinked to me that I should finally let her go from my self. It all happened in a split second...

The wedding ended. We had our pictures taken, and we proceeded to the reception. I was so hungry and tired. I delivered my message to the couple and had to repeat myself coz the people didn’t understand what on earth I was talking about. I realized they could not understand me coz I was talking in Visaya and they are all Waray. I talked in Tagalog and English, and everyone was happy. After the reception, her mom, dad, sisters, and brother treat me for a short tour around the city. We went to their house and had some refreshment and we crossed the San Juanico Bridge. We had some pictures taken on the bridge but it's already 10 PM so we didn’t had a good view of the magnificent bridge. The next day, Sunday, I was invited to attend a mass on their church. It's the first time I attended a mass in Iglesia ni Cristo church. It all went fine. I stayed shortly at their residence.

... When we are together, we can do anything, and that's what it was for so many years. I was afraid that one day we can no longer do the things we are used to do. That’s why I’m always afraid. Now she's married. It's all fine with me. As long as she's happy, I’m also happy for her. We met again the day after her wedding and it became instantly obvious that she has now a new life and I could no longer demand for her time. We just had a small talk and she's in a hurry to left. I said my goodbye coz I will travel back to Iligan any moment. She said she could no longer promise if she can see me again before I left. I understand everything. I hold her hand for the last time and bid goodbye. She said I can always visit her. But things will never be the same again. Could this be the last time I'll ever see her? Yes this would be the last time I'll ever see her... the last time I'll ever see her as the girl I once adored. This is the last time I'll see her as an old her. She's now a new entity, totally different from before. I must accept any changes. I too had changed after her wedding. The next time we'll see each other again, is like meeting each other for the first time, again. She had been a part of my life and would be forever be part of my life. After all that happened, we will still be friends forever, and she will always be my honee ...

That afternoon her sister and her boo invited me to play billiards. Afterwards we visited the McArthur Landing site, took some pictures and imagining what could it be like during the day McArthur set foot on Leyte. At 7:30 PM we left Tacloban and reached Ormoc at 9:30 PM. The boat left Ormoc at 11:00 PM and we reached Cebu at 5:11 AM the next day. Since my boat back to Mindanao is scheduled 7 PM, I had to stay in Cebu the whole day. I planned to visit the Magellan's Cross and Lapu-lapu shrine but I got hooked watching the NBA Finals Game 4. I went to SM mall at 11:00 AM and planned to stay there for a while. I bought a map of Cebu coz I’m determined to visit Magellan and Lapu-lapu. I even planned to cross the Mactan and Fernan Bridge on foot! But it's already near noon and it's already very hot outside, I decided to stay in the mall. I bought boat tickets, scouted for PC, posed for a photoshoot in the PMA booth, and eventually watching a movie (Mr. and Mrs. Smith). I paid for orchestra, but there's no one guarding the door, so I went to the balcony. Hehehe. Too bad I wasn’t able to finish the movie coz I still had to meet a friend. We had dinner at Pizza Hut. We separated at 7:30 PM coz I thought my boat leaves at 8 PM. When I arrived at the pier at 7:45 PM, I realized I must suppose to be in the pier before 7 PM coz my boat leaves at 7 PM bound for Ozamiz! I missed my freakin boat! After all near mishaps, finally I was hit hard by bad luck. Or tanga lang jud ko. Luckily, there are two boats bound to Mindanao that night, the other one will leave at 8 PM bound for Cagayan. Phew, I transfered my ticket to Cagayan and had to pay P50.00 for surcharge. I arrived in Cagayan at 7 AM the next day. The journey back home is an uneventful one. Along the way I’m still battling between my emotions and I felt the journey lasted till eternity. Time has somewhat froze for me and I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. But slowly as the drift of the sea I am transformed into my new self. As soon as I reached Iligan at 9 AM, I felt renewed and determined to start my new life. A new life without the girl I once adored.